Dearest Mother, 7

I'm seconds away from breaking down,
I want to break every fucking  wall i put up.
I want to feel free.
Get to a place so high,
Gravity doesn't even seem to existed.
All i have to do is make one call,
Just one.


But ill bring my mind back down to size.
I have to bring myself back down,
Just do realize how far I've come.
Ill be nothing like you.
I cant stand of the thought of turning out like you

You were never there to hold my hand through the dark roads you lead me down.
And i walked such a fine line to bring myself to where i am now.
How you were so upset to see me leave.
You say i abandoned the family,

Please.


On my own for those few months made me see,
What a monster you could actually be.
And i would see weeks go by before you would come home.

Maybe.


You need to see how this family feel apart sometime ago.
There was nothing left.
No matter how hard i refused to let go.

I reached the point where i grow tired of  hearing your sad lies.
Over and over they would pour from your mouth.
Never any truth to be found.

I don't want to be the one to watch you pick them up one by one.
When your world seems to crumble at your sorry feet,
I hate the word I'm sorry.
I hate it so much.
That's all you could ever say to me,

I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry

Save your fucking apologize for someone who hasn't heard it all before.
If only you put some thought into what you created on this earth,
And not what the drugs make you see.
I want you to see there is more to life then what you have created in your mind
I want you to see
I want you to see me.