you can be my best fucking friend.

Machines are made to be in factories.
I like to see a little effort here and there.

.

Daydream Nightmares

I really need to get on with it! 
What am i waiting for!

Its all so tangled!
Everything is connected into one and i feel like theres no way of getting out of it.
How do i cut the ties?

I know when i do decide to cut one...
There all going to fall into my lap and like i said before im not ready to go back to the beginning.

Ive come to far to start all over again...

I feel my stomach in knots.

I cant eat... not even when im hungry.

Teres to many emotions piled up..

Its gotten to the point where i already feel full.

I need to sleep, really sleep.

I want to dream about a place away from it all..

And just feel the serenity hit me.

Happiness isnt to far from where i lay.
I'm starting to drift.

I wish i didn't have to wake up some days.

static

Currently listening to modest mouse dashboard 
 
I'm cut to the core...
No emotions...
Cant make decisions...
Hesitant to say what i really want to say.


I'm tired of treading water,
Stuck in one spot
with no power to out move forward.
I cant see shore in the distance.
And all the goals i set out.. seem to be fading.

What do you do when its to far to go back to the beginning?


I need some time to catch my breath.
Find somewhere i could rest my head.


I'm sinking to the bottom,
There lies my dreams.
The only place i can feel free.

The thoughts i think consume me.
I'm trapped in my own head.
I cant stop analyzing every little thing.

.

And my head told my heart
"Let love grow"
But my heart told my head
"This time no" 

Mumford & Sons : Winter Winds

I'll keep you my dirty little secret.

Confession One:

i always hated calling the shots.

Confession two:
I don't know has been my answer to everything lately.. and i don't know why?

Confession three:

When we were throwing penny's in the lake of truth.. the truth is i never made a wish. I was perfectly satisfied with what i had.

Confession ten:

I used to make fun of you behind your back, And sometimes still do.

Confession eleven:

I feel like I don’t really like most people I hang out with, and if they really knew me rather than the front I put up they wouldn’t like me either. I miss my old friends who I’ve lost touch with.

Confession eighteen:

i think i only wanted him because he is popular and is a man whore. Like being accepted into some kind of club.

Confession nineteen:

I slept with my ex the other night, it was a lot of just drunken, dirty screwing... so why do i feel guilty?

Confession twenty one:

I manipulated her into thinking you were controlling her life... just to be with you again.

Confession twenty three:

I hate half the people i come in contact with each an every day... how sad is that.

Confession twenty nine:

I always knew i'd turn out just like you.

Confession thirty six:

I only continued to talk to you because i liked the attention. i never wanted to be with you.

Confession thirty seven:

I think of ways i could get you back, or at least capture your heart, but i know deep down that i don’t really want it.

Confession forty four:
i wanted to be apart of your future.

Confession fifty:
I put on a front and act stronger then i really am. 


Confession fifty two: 
I like you better when your high.



Confession Fifty three:
Im afraid to die but not to be dead.. i don't want to be forgotten



Confession fifty four:
Even though you were in my life for ten years. After three years of not seeing you.. its hard to look at you the same. 

Confession fifty eight.
I feel like i played a big part into badly influence you and the decisions you made.


Confession sixty one:
Every time I look in the mirror, I’m disgusted. Ive had an eating distorter for the past three years.

Confession sixty five:
Your dream really came true. I really was lost at sea...
  

Confession seventy eight:
I figure if i could remember all there names. then im not a slut. 

Confession seventy nine:

I hate that im a jealous person.

I want to learn how to stop getting attached.

I'm really considering getting a small tattoo on one of my fingers.