Hello Again.

Its been awhile since ive written anything.
I guess its been difficult to put all my thoughts together.
I really don't know how ive been feeling lately.
I really don't think im feeling much anymore to be perfectly honest with you.


Apart of me feels like i used to be a lot more interesting.
Then again i was a mess when i first started this blog.
Im not a mess anymore.. At lest i don't think i am.

Ive grown up alot.
Things have become more in perspective.
Ive made some mistakes...Maybe one to many
But ive learned from them
Maybe i shouldn't call them mistakes but more of lessons.
I dont regret anything ive done
That's what makes me who i am today.

Is it weird i feel silly writing right now?
Its kinda funny cause i used to write all the time.
When i say all the time i mean piles and piles of journals...
Right now i just feel like im talking to myself.
ha ugh.

I Haven't really let anyone in..
Its funny how the heart beaks and let downs never seem to change.

Ive relized you dont need anyone but yourself..
Well for most of it anyway.
Its good to have a handful of people that you know will be there to help you back to your feet when your legs give out.

Mmm
No one ever said that it would be easy.
Right?

Awaken from my past.

"Just because I like you, it doesn’t mean I still don’t think you’re evil"

We were like fire and gasoline.

How do i describe this..

It was like fire and gasoline,

a spark that we doused with gas.

The spark then turned into a mass explosion, 

that would rawr with red hot flames that dance fast in the night.

you watch as the fire builds up while everything in it burns down...

This flame wont hold up much to long,

Cautious to get to close of fear you might get burned,

Walk to the side and watch as it dies.

The last removal,

When at last it is over 

      They had all become the same dry wood.

Another day

I guess im feeling a little down tonight

Valentine's day is coming up... barf. 

(Why don't you just cut me open with a rusty spoon and rip my heart out.)

Yeahhhh not really feeling cupids arrow much.

The whole thing seems like another day to just spend unnecessary money on unnecessary things,

 for someone who's just unnecessary...

why?

welll cuase down the line there most likely going to

A. Cheat on you.

B. Lie to you

C. Leave you.

(or if your luckkkkyy)

D. He'll lie to you about cheating then leave you for a binboe he met at the bar. 

(Buttttt don't worry your little heart <3 nooope, cause your dumb enough to take him back when she leave's him for some guy she met at the bar)

Life has a funny way of working in cycles and circles. Things have a way of always biting its self in the ass. 

Like my dad always says. 

"What goes around comes around" 

I don't need the government to hold my hand.

I'm starting to think the government is hiding all the good kind and charming men in a cave somewhere...

Only letting one or two out at a time.
Leaving us to fend and mend our broken hearts alone.

I can see them now sitting around a table dressed very nicely in there black suits and slicked back hair...

they will sip on a glass of aged scotch and laugh...

"That's what they get for leaving the kitchen" 

Yeahhh i'm on to you.

chocked.

someone save me from my mind

Baby blue eyes

Head in the clounds.

Feet planted on the ground.

All this talk,

But nothing worth talking about.

When the wind blows,

I stand still.

Build them up,

Break me down.

I'm bound to an endless satisfaction to never be figured out, 
I wont stand down,
No walls will fall down. 
Ive said it before and ill say it again. 
i have no problem turning the other way. 




Theres to much to tell,
Not enough time
There's an endless story behind these blue eyes.