So I turned to run, From the thought of all the stupid things I've done,

I've always been the cold one,

Running form emotion 

Scared of attachment. 

I wanted to get out. 

Ill say it now.

I was so afraid of a let down.

I would have let you down.

Love affairs, 

Lust,

passion,

That's more my speed. 

The satisfaction of seducing someone,

To watch them beg at their knee.

Disgusting isn't it. 

Its such a  vicious circle,

Of broken hearts and let downs.

Destiny,

Fate,

love,

is all a myth.

Its to keep you hoping fair tales still do exist.

There's not prince charming to sweep you off your feet.

And frankly i don't believe in happy ending. 

I think i might have maybe felt love.

But that's a very unsure line wouldn't you say?

good morning

"Living in a tiny overcrowded town

Still you won't call me back,
And every text that I get from you is so serious."

These four walls they bind me

I'm so used to change,

But lately my life has been set on pause.

A tunnel with no light shining through,

And then there was you.

You've stayed in beaded in my heart.

Like foot prints in the snow.

They wont seem to fade. 

As hard as i try to let you go.

And these four walls they bind me,

I cant seem to break free.

All these faces they're the same,

With thet're fake smiles and hollow eyes. 

Zombies trapped to this life. 

And i would pick it up tomorrow,

Just to never look back.

I would pick it all up now, 

Knowing i wouldn't have to look back.

You've always told me to go with it, 

Flow with it.

What ever happens, 

Well it happens.

Life dosent always go by your plans, 

But this is coming from a complicated man.

Well here i go.

I'll take this leap,

And leave my destiny
To a thing called fate.

Before it all starts to rewind.

A cycle with no happy ending.

Jes Yeomans

Note this was written July 2, 09. 

Its words of  Jes Yeoman i'll always remember.

I'm looking for my Friend,

He's been gone for over a week and i haven't found him yet.

But i bet when i do find him,

He'll be shacked up in a house with cocaine sparkled floors,

And hanging marijuana plants,

Water fountains filled with booze.

And in the many bed rooms some nice pointy needles

To bring him and this groupies

Down.

Down. 

Down.

 Low.

Is it something like a confession, Is it a secret worth telling?

It's a vicious circle that never ends.
And are these words true..
Do you want me to confront you.
And I'm scared to let myself be around you.
Cause your icy blue will bring me right back to...


Right back to you.


And well this i'll admit,
Ive been getting goosebumps.
I'm losing my grip and I'm starting to fall,
But i cant assume its my silhouette that stands in your way. 


I tried my hardest to put you behind me.
Cause you've proven yourself to be weak for attachment.

But im taking your word and going with it. 

But maybe you should bite your tongue and swallow those word.

Cause' 

Well im afraid it might be to much for you to handle. 

And yes you were worth it.
You were worth every step.
And i have all these old memories surfacing
I cant bring myself to forget.
And as i looked to the stars they would guide me right back to you. 
As if this cycle is a never ending circle.

So come take my hand, 

And through darkness we will sail

Only time will tell, but it ain’t talking

Who I was isn't who I am, 
And ill do anything...
To make you see,
That you were better off believing in me.


My past might not be as bad as most, 
Not many skeletons hidden away.
Not many mistakes made.
But there is enough deep inside as a reminder to myself,
That i never what to be what you are.


Most of my friends are still living in the home they grow up in.
Ive seen many walls
And can say

I taught myself how to get by.

I'm not saying I'm the only one.

I'm just saying i wish i wasn't one... 

And yes ill admit it

Ive had my fair share of drugs,
And at times...
I felt  they were the only happiness i had left. 

Ive done somethings I'm not proud of.

And you held my hand right through it all.

But to watch me dig my own hole.

I'll tell you this now. 

I'm sick of digging.

And I'm not going to see rock bottom.

I'm going to start my  climb.

And  its safe to say i overcame the demon that grow inside me.  

I learned to separate my selfish wants from what was really impotent to me.

And i i know if you want something bad enough,

Your capable of getting it.

I saw the things you were uncapale of seeing,

With out seeing inside of a rehabitiltation.


i guess i got lucky In some ways.
i didn't have to learn form my own mistakes 
Cause you...
well  you are the prime exampial 
Of what i never what to see in myself


And Ive learned from all your let downs,
all your put downs
And Ive heard all the excuses in the book
Until you played them all out.
Until they sound like whispers.
Ive seen you hit bottom
praying for a way out.
And Ive watched you for the last time. 
ill turn away.
And have you fade out.

Brighter then the street lights in New York City

I was never one for flashy things,

Big building,

Loud sirens,

Bright lights.

Not one quite night.

But you like that scenes of never ending,

Nothing ever seems to slow down. 

Always a race to catch up what was left behind.
Never having anything take its time.

If you were who you said you were,
You would already know this.
You would be here now,
And the things you have done..
Well they would speak for themselves.
You've locked it all so deep,
Hidden underneath,
Only to hear them in the deepest of sleep.

But your voice falls short from my memories,

And your face is just a reminder. 

Of a time the air was thin,

Of a time i was sure i could breath again.

These memories that bind me.

I cant seem to let them go,

Like its all i have left to know.

But as i said time and time before.

I was never one for flashy things,

Im going to take the time to rewind

Just to start over again.

And all the leaves have fallen,

As did i.

Now the air is crisp and new.

As i find my way back. 

From  falling for you.